you should go and love yourself
The use of terms ‘self love’ or ‘self care’ have reached saturation point, so much so that they have lost their meaning.
The outside world smashes us on a daily basis - telling us what we should be wearing, or buying, eating or doing. We are referred to as ‘basic’ or some derogatory reference to our generation (ok boomer… gen x blah blah blah) if we make our own, or the wrong choices along the way.
But this is why we need to be really clear on who we are, and what we like. Because otherwise we risk being pushed around to confirm or to be cool or even worse, because we care deeply about what other people think. Don’t get me wrong, people pleasing served me well for about 35 years - or so I thought. I now consider myself a reformed people pleaser but like with any behaviour, I do regress at times. But if the expectations or opinions of others are weighing so heavily on you that they present an emotional, mental or financial burden, then you kinda need to tell those people to well… go ‘love’ themselves…
On my journey of self love, I worked with an awesome lady named Lucy Ellis. She is a slashie, but not like in a Hollywood kinda way. She is a therapist/human design guru/dream unpacker/cheerleader of women/and all round bloody legend. She helped me get really unfucked and unstuck from a bit of a career and mid life crisis I was facing back around 2021. I would strongly encourage anyone feeling a bit lost and not sure about the direction you want to be heading to check her out and book a consult.
The thing I really want to stress on my journey of undoing a lot of my conditioning is that it didn’t happen overnight (…but it did happen - thank you Rachel Hunter). And it still isn’t over. There are still some days that I catch myself being so deeply concerned and influenced by what others think of me and of my sticking to a set of ridiculously unattainable rules and standards that I have set for myself. But I am now way better at telling that voice to shut the fuck up, and I can get on with my day, knowing that I am an absolute Queen. Like a fitness journey - our journey to badassery is influenced by what we consume. Not just the food, but the news we read, the social media content we consume and what we like, share and comment on. Social media is good at giving us more of the stuff we ‘like’, ‘share’ and comment on, like a self fulfilling prophecy. If we think we are not enough (pretty/skinny/smart/capable/etc) and we continue to engage with people and content telling us how to be ‘enough’ then it will kinda showing us all the same stuff. The young and genetically gifted telling us how to be young and beautiful if we just buy the thing or do the thing. But I would like you just to pause, even just slow down for a sec when this is all playing out for you. Whose interests are being served by keeping you small? By keeping you unsure, scared, lacking confidence? Could it be someone who wants you to buy something to either fix the ‘problem’ or to help you forget your ‘problems’? Let’s now pretend that there is absolutely nothing ‘wrong’ with you and you are happily living your best life. What if you were really clear on who you are, and what you like, and what you will tolerate in terms of the behaviours of others.
You get to take back your power when you know who you are. You take back even more power when you love who you are.
You are a magnificent creature. You are amazing. Please don’t sell yourself short by believing for a second that your worth is determined by others.
Krissi x
